Out - Dated

I met a girl called Glenda who liked swimming in the nude,
but I stayed on the shoreline, I was such a silly prude,
I lost her to a lifeguard, he was big and blonde and tanned,
and when he had no togs on, he left three tracks in the sand!

I dated with a Chinese chick, her name was Cindy Lu,
she loved the Eastern martial arts, and movies of kung fu,
although she knew some tricks in bed, I had to cut her loose,
as every time she climaxed she would always scream out "Bruce!"

At Christmas time I met a girl called Sharon, who was nice,
and when I took her home she ripped my clothes off in a trice,
but then she called me Santa Claus, and made me call her Elf,
I'd sit there saying "Ho, ho, ho," while she'd toy with herself!

Author: Unknown